Have you ever heard of or referred to your child/ren as street angels home devils or wondered why your child/ren are so well behaved at school and when they come home, they are the complete opposite? I remember my mum saying my brother and I were exactly that, street angels home devils. Now, I too find myself sometimes referring to my children as that! Why? Michael Grose, Australia’s number one parenting educator, discusses this topic on his website.

Basically when ‘we’ (adult or child) are accepted whole heartedly, we show our true colours. Children go to school with a level of respect for teachers and their peers. They use their manners, learn to negotiate with their peers, show tolerance towards those around them etc. When they are in a familiar environment with those accepting people, like family and in a home environment, they tend to let their guard down.

Children know how to behave because as parents, we have taught them. For example, table manners, respecting others, how to behave in different social settings, right from wrong etc. So how do we teach children to behave well? Michael discusses three important points.

1)    Model

This is one thing we do every day with our children whether we mean to or not. They look to us in different situations and will learn how to respond. For example, if you are driving to school and someone cuts you off or doesn’t obey a road rule and you abuse the other driver or call them a name, those little eyes and ears in the back seat are seeing how you deal with such scenarios. Remember, as parents we are constant role models to our children.

2)    Explicitly teach and coach

Tell your children what to say in different social settings and let them know how their behaviour, good or bad, impacts those around them.

3)    Create junior versions of social situations

In junior sport, the rules are modified generally from adult rules. When teaching children how to behave when eating out at a restaurant or café, set up a weekly meal at home like in a restaurant and teach your child/re now to behave and some basic etiquette.

As you can see, our little cherubs know how to behave; we just have to teach them to behave well. Again, as parents it comes down to us to model that behaviour. There are times you probably ask yourself are they taking on board anything? When someone else comments on them behaving well at least you can take some comfort knowing they may actually be behaving well!

Michael Grose’s website is a fantastic resource www.parentingideas.com.au

 

 

 

Fiona Froelich