Ever wondered what makes your son tick? Whether you have boys or not, it is still important to understand them and have an idea as to why they act and think the way they do.
I have just returned from my son’s school camp, I can honestly say these points raised by Michael Grose in a recent article are so very true. Having a son myself, teaching boys and watching my son in various team sports, some male only team sports and individual sports, you will find these points very interesting.
- You must like them.
Sounds strange I know but boys need to be liked. If they sense you don’t like them, you will be fighting an uphill battle. In a school setting they can shut down and will not respond to you.
- Boys like to blend in.
Boys like to fit in and will often play in groups, they don’t like to stand out and may end up making poor friendship choices rather than be the odd one out.
- They are hierarchical by nature.
As with all children, they need boundaries and rules. They want to know that someone will enforce those boundaries.
- Many boys hide behind a mask.
Boys will hide behind a ‘mask’ for fear of being hurt. They may play the role of ‘tough’, ‘class clown’ or ‘cool dude’. Don’t communicate with the ’mask’, do whatever you need to do to communicate with the child himself.
- Boys are just as sensitive as girls.
Boys are just as sensitive, if not more so than girls. They get just as stressed but we as parents tend to ask our girls how they are feeling more often. Ask a boy how he feels about something and he will probably tell you how he is feeling. Boys need more time to process their feelings so they may not be open straight away.
- Boys are tactile by nature.
Taste and touch are the two most important senses to boys and how they take in the world. Surprise, surprise! Boys need to be touched and hugged two or three times more than girls to release the same amount of oxytocin, a feel good chemical. They need to be nurtured, not ignored.
These are the first six points Michael raises. Next week, I will write about the remaining six points. In the meantime, reflect on these points if you have a son, nephew or interact with boys in a different environment. It might be your friends have boys and you have never quite understood why they are like they are. Yes, boys can be loud, disorganised, rough and in your face but if you understand and accept that, your relationship will flourish and the lines of communication are likely to open up further.
Fiona Froelich