Last week I discussed the first six points relating to boys and why they are like they are. This week I will continue on with the remaining six points as discussed by Michael Grose.
The first six points were you must like them, boys like to blend in, they are hierarchical by nature, many boys hide behind a mask, boys are just as sensitive as girls and boys are tactile by nature.
- Boys learn from experience.
We can advise the boys in our life but the only way they are going to learn is by experience. Good, bad or otherwise, a life experience is the best teacher!
- Loyalty is a high driver.
A boy’s family and friends are where their loyalty lies and is the key to understanding to the male psyche. Their peers are a huge influence and can hold them back in the ‘pack’ at times. Their loyalty can get them into trouble with authority too.
- Many boys’ mouths don’t work unless they are moving.
If you want to have a serious conversation with your boy, get on a bike, go for a walk or run and you are more likely to have a productive discussion rather than the awkward face to face one!
- Boys need social scripts.
Don’t be afraid to tell boys what to say in new social situations. They will often struggle to find any words, let alone the correct words, to say. Give them a helping hand, they will appreciate it!
- Boys need a purpose to learn.
If you want a boy to learn, they need tangible short term goals. If they are practising a musical instrument to be in a band there is purpose, if there is no goal attached, it may be a little more difficult.
- A boy’s brain matures differently than a girl’s brain.
The maturation rate and sequence is different for boys and girls. For instance, the brain developments in the first five years of life prepares girls for the rigours of school better than it does for boys. A girl’s brain in that period is busy developing fine motor skills, verbal acuity and social skills, which are highly valued by parents and teachers. A boy’s brain, on the other hand, is busy developing gross motor, spatial and visual skills, which are essential hunting skills. Unfortunately, there isn’t a great need for these traits in primary schools these days!! (Michael Grose)
These last six points raise interesting food for thought when it comes to understanding boys. I must admit, having a daughter and son proves to be difficult at times when it comes to parenting. I certainly handle my son differently to my daughter but still fairly. I have the same expectations of them both but I have to take different parenting paths to get them there.
Fiona Froelich